Cellular Nation

Years ago, Lily Tomlin made a concert film. One of the things I always remember from that film was her idea to pair up all the people that walk around talking to themselves so that they appeared to be talking to each other.

If she were to make that film today, a simpler solution probably would have been offered. Just give each of these folks a fake cell phone and teach them to hold it to their ear.

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but, in my opinion, the cell phone has really started to worsen the experience of living in society. A few days ago I went to the ATM with my dad. Since he was filling out a deposit slip, I finished with my business before he was ready. As I waited, a young girl came in with a cell phone planted on her ear and an inane conversation on her lips.

I wish I could recount the conversation but my mind has mercifully flushed it. But the point of this, really, is that this person was walking around in the world...the world I, my dad, and the rest of society exists in...totally disconnected from all but the person on the other end of the cellular line.

Now, in truth, the conversation probably wasn't that bad. Certainly no worse than if the other person had physically been there. And, also to be fair, an ATM is not a place one is really expected to interact with other humans (the little machine spitting money at us is usually more interesting, anyway). But this phenomenom is not restricted to these types of situations.

Has anyone else been in a store when someone enters already talking on their phone? And then notice as this person goes to pick up the milk or Ding Dongs or whatever, take them to counter, check out, and then finally pay without once --- ONCE --- stopping their conversation to acknowledge the people around them? Of course, as a fellow customer, these doesn't actually concern me in any material way. But what about the cashier? They are being shown that they are not even worth the most cursory pleasantry from this person and their important conversation. Surely life, and phone calls, are not so important that we can't take a second and interact with a person that we are, in fact, interacting with.

And how about all those people walking around with phones literally stuck in their ears prepared to use them at a moment's notice? I guess it doesn't hurt (to them) that at least a certain segment of the population will think they are important. After all, they have to be prepared to immediately take a Very Important Call. Well, I'm not impressed. And, on the off chance the person really is that busy, I feel sorry for them.

And don't even get me started on those walkie-talkie cell phones. I can see the meeting at NEXTEL in my mind: "How can we make cell phones more annoying....I know, make it so people have to yell into them and others have to hear BOTH sides of a conversation!" Sheesh. Even as an avid non-smoker, I still preferred Winston being the NASCAR sponser to these NEXTEL clowns.

Now, it probably sounds like I hate cell phones. I don't. I think they are miraculous things that are incredibly useful. They definitely have uses both practical and urgent. I'm sure there are many people walking around today that are alive because someone had a cell phone available in that person's time of need. On a less serious note, I'm sure many meals have also been saved because one spouse called the other at the grocery store. And of course, the simple ability to call ahead that you're going to be late can't help but ease anxiety in the mind of a loved one.

But a cell phone is a tool. As with all tools, it can be abused. So, the next time you're out and the phone rings, at least give half a thought to those around you. If you go to the store, at least give the clerk the impression that they are more than just a cog. If you are out at dinner, don't spend ten minutes talking to someone else on the phone (unless, of course, it actually is important). At a movie theater, turn the durn thing off. In other words, a cell phone is not a license to be rude.

But, more importantly, a cell phone shouldn't be used as a crutch to disconnect from the world around you. It's actually a pretty amazing place most of the time.